'Mothers Don’t Enjoy…They Give Joy'
It's not Santa making all that holiday magic..it's (mostly) women.
I’m all in on Christmas magic: the music, the decorations, the parties, and of course all the classic Christmas movies. But there’s one not-so-classic, slightly raunchy, holiday movie that I watch every year while wrapping the presents I single-handedly bought for my family: "Bad Moms Christmas." It may be a far cry from "It’s A Wonderful Life" (my all-time favorite) but the 2017 movie is a reassuring watch during what, for many women, is a particularly stressful and hectic time of year—especially for moms.
In the movie, three moms (played by Mila Kunis, Kathryn Hahn and Kristen Bell), all fed up with the expectations heaped on them around the holidays, decide to “take back Christmas,” something many women wish they could do. When their own mothers (Susan Sarandon, Cheryl Hines, Christine Baranski) drop in for a surprise visit, it’s clear that the expectations for women to carry the mental load and emotional labor for their families is passed down like an unwanted heirloom.
Countless surveys reinforce how much more household labor women take on than men, whether physical tasks or the invisible running to-do list known as the mental load or both. Cue the holidays, which ratchet up those to-dos (holiday cards, school events, gifts for everyone, decorating, special event planning, meal planning and prep, not to mention the damn Elf On the Shelf).
In one survey, 85% of women said they did most of the Christmas tasks, while men identified only four holiday tasks they did regularly: untangling strings of lights, carving the turkey, doing the dishes after Christmas dinner, and getting rid of the tree after Christmas. Is it any wonder that so many of us feel taken for granted?
No wonder there’s one line in "Bad Moms Christmas" that affects me every time: “Mothers don’t enjoy..they give joy.”
While I do legitimately enjoy many of the extra holiday tasks that default to me, like the “bad moms” in the movie, each year, I add another act of rebellion against expectations: For the past few years, cards and gifts for my in-laws are no longer my domain. And all of those presents I was wrapping? My name was the only name I signed on the tag. (Credit where credit’s due.) I hope that you, too, take back whatever holiday you celebrate by ditching the unnecessary obligations and re-claiming some joy.
