Can We Please Stop Shaming Women On AI Once and for All?
Women are criticized for using AI less than men — and viewed as "cheats" when they do. How, exactly, do they win?
There’s a narrative that feels as old as time — the idea that women aren’t performing up to snuff and it’s all their fault. You’ve no doubt heard versions of this before: “Women aren’t leaning in to their careers as much as men” or “Women aren’t negotiating, therefore they are paid less than men” — or, the 2026 version of this particular song: “Women are doing a poor job at adopting AI compared with men.” An immediate finger wagging follows, chiding women to do better.
A recent uptick in celebrities urging women to use AI has only added to the problem. Sandra Bullock. Demi Moore. Reese Witherspoon.
Mel Robbins, a self-help influencer with 12.3 million followers, made a now-deleted Instagram post stating women use AI 40% less than men.
She then advised her followers to upload sensitive financial data like bank and debt statements, bills and income information to Microsoft Copilot, suggesting the prompt, “I feel overwhelmed, behind or ashamed about my money, and I want help understanding what’s actually going on without judgment.” Ultimately, these prompts would help “take control of your money,” she wrote, with the panic-inducing statistic that “up to 40% less women are adopting AI compared with men.” Copilot is an AI platform with which she has a paid partnership but originally didn’t disclose. (If you’re curious about some best practices on how to use publicly-available AI tools for financial advice, here’s a quick primer from CNN on how you might consider doing it safely.)
This shame-and-blame narrative telling women they need to use AI or perish is at best tired, at worst — like the advice above — dangerous. We should really know better to engage with it. And yet…here we are.
Emma Haslett
So let’s break it down, to figure out what’s really going on. For this, a 2025 study from Harvard Business School will come in handy.
According to the study, we know that women are adopting AI tools at an estimated 25% lower rate than men, because of ethical concerns and fear of being judged harshly for using them. But the reason isn’t because women are scared or less tech savvy, it’s largely due to repercussions of gender bias. In short, women face harsher penalties when we’re not seen as experts, and there are concerns we may be viewed as “cheating” when we use AI assists.
(A different study at Oxford, covered by The Persistent’s Josie Cox found that “women are significantly more likely than men to worry about the wider consequences of generative AI, including its effects on employment, privacy, misinformation, mental health, and even the environment.”)
This gap will negatively impact women’s career progress, notes the Harvard study, but it also highlighted two other concerns: Businesses will lose out on productivity gains as a result of women’s lower adoption, and large learning models will be less gender balanced without women’s input
So what’s the solution?
Even if women could get around to using AI more often, we need to do so in a setting where we can learn, make mistakes and not be penalized more harshly than men — who (surprise!) also make mistakes.
“It’s important to create an environment in which everybody feels they can participate and try these tools and won’t be judged,” noted Rembrand Koning, the lead researcher on the Harvard study.
That same study recommended that businesses should make AI training widely available for all employees — of all genders — so everyone is getting the same information and encouragement to use AI tools. The researchers put the onus on leaders to create a culture where using AI is encouraged and all workers have the chance to get comfortable with the tools.
Until then, I can’t get on the bandwagon of telling women to just get on with using AI — especially when it’s being pushed on us with fear-mongering tactics.
We need to better understand the risks and penalties of bias before shaming women for not doing something. I’ve been banging this drum for at least 15 years and it’s frustrating that the “what we’re not doing right” keeps changing, but the “women, you need to do better” narrative persists.
Gabriella Griffith
